One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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