and she was petting her beer can
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
