You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
