Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
