I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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