I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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