Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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