I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
