I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
