Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
