i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
