Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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