Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
nutella sex= disaster
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
