i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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