I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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