I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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