everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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