the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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