i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
