remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
