this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
