It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
