Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
BRING THE BAGELS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
