I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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