Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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