his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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