I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
