I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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