Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
