One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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