AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
