He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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