HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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