xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like a drive thru vagina
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
