I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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