just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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