woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
