you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
