Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my fart just growled at me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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(562): View more from California

she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

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(303): View more from Colorado

Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

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(205): View more from Alabama

Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position

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(708): View more from Illinois

this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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(810): View more from Michigan

was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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(805): View more from California

I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.

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(573): View more from Missouri

And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.

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