i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you inspire me to be a worse person
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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