drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Rumble strips road head = magical
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
