brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
