I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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