Having a random hookup so left but love u
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
