Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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