Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
