It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
