She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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