What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
