90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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