For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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