You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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