well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
