is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize