Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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