i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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