Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize