It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
