How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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