But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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