Just cropdusted the office
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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