She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
