i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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