Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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