Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
