I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
