i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
