I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize