i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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