I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
