I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
